I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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