did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
