i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
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Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
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Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
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