You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
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