There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize
