why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
