wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Randomize
