i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
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She even gives head with a lisp.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
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My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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