I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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