So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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