My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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