I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize