The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
NoShamevember. You game?
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
