SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
