I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
