i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
