All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
