She is in my trunk
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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