awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
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