I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
