I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Randomize
