Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize