Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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