You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize