Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
