Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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