Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
