Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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