I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
