rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
