i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Randomize
