so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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