i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
