Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
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