Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
