Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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