Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
