My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Just puked most of my soul out..
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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