i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
In America we eat man semen.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
