hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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