How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Randomize
