After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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