I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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