I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
