I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize