She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
The uberlube is also flammable
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
