Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
