The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Randomize
