its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
soo... how was my night?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
