Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
