Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
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