I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
where are my eyebrows?
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
