Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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