Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
