from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
