Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
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