Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
