I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Randomize
