you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
