Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
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