So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
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