her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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